Let’s take a tour of a 24-hour period of lunacy

From time to time during my numerous jaunts through the streets of this wonderful suburb of Boston called Dorchester, I’ve had the pleasure of meeting many residents who offer kind words of support and amusement for my style of writing and somewhat skewed sense of humor. Your encouragement is greatly appreciated.

When I started this “gig” five years ago I didn’t expect to still be writing in 2009 or have as many people reading my scribblings. All I ever set out to do is to give you a sense of the truly heroic, insane, comical, and sometimes scary day-to-day goings on at District C-11.
As an illustration of that mission, I’ve taken a recent 24-hour period of lunacy that we like to call Monday into Tuesday.

Nov. 2, 3:29 p.m.

The C-11 plainclothes car had been playing the Bowdoin Street area a little more closely after a recent uptick in gunfire between two groups of warring imbeciles. They observed a Toyota driving past them with one of the above-mentioned imbeciles in the back seat. The officers knew that this pillar of society had several active warrants against him. When they turned their cruiser around, the female driving the Toyota sped up dramatically, abruptly turned onto Norton Street, then made a sudden turn into a driveway where the two young males in the backseat fled. Amazingly, as the officers approached the Toyota, the two gangbangers started walking back toward the officers as if they were taking a stroll through the Public Garden. Minutes later an officer and his canine responded and performed a check of the adjacent yards and there on the backyard grass at an Inwood Street address was a Smith and Wesson .32 caliber handgun loaded with six live rounds. The two local lads, aged 19, were charged with unlawful possession of a firearm.

Nov. 2, 5:48 p.m.

About two hours later, Officers Almeida and Riley, while en route to a radio call, spotted an oil truck in the parking lot of the 500 Geneva Avenue strip mall. Because of an earlier domestic violence incident, a description of a suspect wanted for violating a restraining order and driving this particular local oil company vehicle was given out. It was also known that this suspect had several past firearm arrests and was supposedly armed again. The man behind the wheel of the truck was, in fact, the suspect wanted for the earlier VRO and he was arrested. During the vehicle inventory search, the officers found, within the suspect’s reach, a Smith and Wesson .38 caliber handgun loaded with five rounds that was reported stolen in North Carolina in 2007. Behind the driver’s seat was a Jennings 9mm firearm in a case with two loaded (18 rounds) magazine clips. This loser was charged with seven different felonies.

Nov. 2, 5:48 p.m.

Simultaneously, up on Bowdoin at Hamilton Street the Safe Streets Team, led by Sgt. MacMasters, was driving up Hamilton when a brown Oldsmobile driven by a 22-year-old Mother of the Year candidate turned onto the street and drove the wrong way directly at them. The car was pulled over and instead of a license, the woman handed over her Social Security card and court documents out of the Natick and Framingham courts, which showed she had two outstanding warrants. She was soon fitted with adjoining silver wrist jewelry and placed in the back of a cruiser. During the never-routine vehicle inventory search, officers looked inside a child’s Hannah Montana school bag, which contained a scale, small baggies, and a large bag of marijuana. After this find, the suspect began screaming obscenities and stated that she needed to go pick up her kid. When they arrived at the station, the officers found three bags of crack cocaine on the back seat. The Mom of the Year was charged with distribution of Class D and B substances in a school zone.

Nov. 2, 7 p.m.

The C-11 Drug Control Unit, after a lengthy investigation of a Mosley Street drug den, arrested a 24-year-old resident of the apartment after the detectives confiscated six bags of heroin, four glass vials of liquid steroids, a box of ammo (47 rounds), and a Smith & Wesson .38 special, loaded with one round. The suspect’s 27-year-old brother will face charges as soon as he gets out of rehab. Shucks, just as he was turning his life around. Blah, blah, blah.

Nov. 3, 2:30 a.m.

Officers responded to a radio call from a sharp-eyed neighbor who saw two young men looking into cars on Duncan Street. The officers found two teens inside a Mitsubishi on Fenton Street and after a foot chase they were able to capture one of them, a 19-year-old Dorchester lad, and recover a radio subwoofer and a pair of Timberland boots. All the suspect said was, “Hey, I fell into it.” What? Then he explained: “It just happened.” Total ignoramus.

Nov. 3, noon

After towing an unattended car from the South Bay Mall, a Freeport Street tow company discovered a loaded (10 rounds) Smith and Wesson .40 caliber firearm between the driver’s seat and console. When the owner came by to reclaim his vehicle, the officers confiscated the gun, ammo, and his license to carry a firearm (from the town of Wilmington) because, as we all know, you cannot have a firearm inside an unattended vehicle whether you’re duly licensed or not. Nimrod.

Meeting Alert

We will be holding our monthly C-11 meeting at 7 tonight at the Seventh-day Adventist Church (old St. William’s) on Dorchester Avenue and Belfort Street. Our guest speaker will be Sgt. Gary Eblam, who will give a presentation on “How not to become a victim of violent crime.” Hope to see you there.

To Pat and Wally: Long life, love, and happiness, but four cats is three too many.