You never know what’s at the end of a call to C-11

I’ll be on vacation, starting tomorrow, for two weeks and we’ll be jetting off to the South of Boston. So I might as well write a little something for you.

April 23, 8:38 a.m.

A call came into 911 operations center then the caller abruptly hung up, but thanks to the enhanced 911 system the caller’s address and apartment number showed up on the call takers screen. So a cruiser was dispatched to the elderly housing high-rise building at 2262 Dorchester Avenue, second floor. On arrival the officer spoke to the frantic caller who stated that “he’s in there.” When the officer tried to control the culprit he flew out of the window whence he came. A description of the suspect was given out – approximately 3 feet tall, about 35 pounds, multi-colored plumage with a three and a half foot long wing span. He was last seen heading north along the avenue and is suspected of being incredibly stupid and extremely delicious. In case you haven’t figured it out yet a far-sighted wild turkey flew through the woman’s bedroom window, causing a small cut to the victim’s leg, but she refused any medical attention. The turkey is still at large.

May 21, 5:43 p.m.

A Dorchester woman and her two daughters were walking her small dog on a leash through Hemenway Park on Adams Street. She was approached by a 20-year-old Dorchester idiot who suddenly bent down and snatched up the dog. The victim held onto the leash in a valiant, violent tug of war with the dognapper, but she quickly lost that war after injuring her hands. A description of the suspect and the pink ruffled shirt-wearing pooch was given out and shortly thereafter the two were spotted on Adams Street and the snatcher quickly arrested for larceny over $200. The dog was uninjured and returned to its grateful owner. Everybody say “aaawwww.”

June 17, 6:20 p.m.

A C-11 rapid response car was dispatched to the area of 194 Savin Hill Avenue for a report of a sex offense in progress. On arrival the officers observed a 19-year-old Newton woman bent over the front porch railing with her shorts at her ankles and a 21-year-old Newton man beside her and let’s say the two of them were getting to know each other a lot better. A whole lot better. The porch area was not concealed and any passerby could have gotten an eyeful. The two were ordered to stop and to put their clothes on. Neither of them lived at the address or knew much about each other. Both were arrested for open and gross lewdness and trespassing. Springtime is for lovers and jails are made for losers.

June 19, 3:30 p.m.

The city-wide drug control unit spotted a gentleman outside the KFC in Edward Everett Square and knew this person to have an outstanding warrant. The arrest went without a hitch but the detectives noticed that the 20-year-old suspect was feeling quite uncomfortable about something secreted around his, um, ah buttocks area. He had to be told twice to take his hands away from this area. Suddenly a medium sized package fell from the suspect’s buttocks area and onto the ground. It was a bag filled with crack cocaine. The detectives had cracked the case of the crack of the crack-hidden crack. Sorry, couldn’t help it.

June 1, 9:35 p.m.

This is a first for me. Members of the drug control unit observed a Toyota Camry in the area of Gallivan Boulevard and Washington Street being driven by a 20-year-old from New Hampshire. They observed the vehicle make several u-turns and enter and exit two different gas stations without purchasing anything. After pulling into the second gas station the vehicle was approached by a 35-year-old woman from the same New Hampshire town as the driver, who promptly got out of the car and entered the passenger side and the woman got into the driver’s seat and pulled away. The woman drove down to the CVS parking lot on Gallivan Boulevard and parked. When the officers approached the vehicle to see what the two were up to they asked for a license and registration. The woman had a suspended license and three warrants. The man had no license at all. Two for two. Two operators of the same vehicle and neither of them had a right to operate in the Commonwealth. Both were arrested.

A couple of upcoming events. July 12 is Family Fun Day at Dorchester Park starting at noon with a goodwill softball game between the Dorchester Board of Trade and C-11 and yours truly. Then on July 25 we will have the C-11 open house and barbecue for all to enjoy. More info to come. See ya!!