An update on C-11 police work from your lefty correspondent

I’ve been writing this blurb for a good six plus years now and in that time we’ve gone through a lot together. The good times, the bad – and the very bad. I’ve also shared some personal information and observations and felt very comfortable doing so, as if talking face to face with an old friend. But something has been gnawing away at my conscience and I feel I must divulge this part of myself with you if we are to continue our friendship. So here goes:

I am announcing to each and every one of you that I am, in fact, a left-handed American man. Whew, I feel better already. I know that this revelation comes as quite a shock to most of you as you can’t always tell that a person is left-handed by looking at them. It has been a life-long difficult journey, growing up in your right-handed world. Knowing I was different than all my friends and family, but constantly learning to adapt (left-handers make up about eight percent of the population). You have right of way, right turn or red, right-sided shirt buttons, zippers, corkscrews, and socks. While all we have is leftovers and left out. It’s not hard to see the favoritism to all those blessed with the almighty right-handed gene. Oh well, I’ve survived this far in life as a “lefty” and my brethren and I will continue to fight the fight for lefty rights! Lefty rights? I’ll have to work on a new slogan.

Any who, here are a few people who were read their rights after their arrest.

June 2, 11:26 p.m.

Officers Doiran and Jones of the Codman Square Safe Street Team responded to a call for a report of an assault and robbery at the Walgreen’s parking lot on Washington Street. On arrival they observed a 47-year-old homeless man, who is a fixture in the Square, bleeding from the nose and mouth. The victim, who walks with a cane because of a stroke, told the officers that he was attacked by “Dickie and Joanie,” two other constant visitors to Codman Square. The victim stated that the suspects struck him in the face twice, booted him in the head, robbed him of $5 and then threw his cane into the trees. A cowardly act upon a person who can barely use two of his four limbs. The officers know both suspects and had seen them together shortly before the attack. Minutes later Joanie, a 36 year old from Brockton, was grabbed and positively identified by the victim. The suspect helped out her future prosecution by stating that “they robbed him to get his drugs.” Silly coward. Her accomplice was captured days later. The victim’s walking cane was never located.

June 11, 12:44 a.m.

What the heck was in the Kool Aid up in Codman Square during the first two weeks of June? This time officers were called to Washington and Moultrie streets for a report of an attempted unarmed robbery. They met the victim, whose mode of transportation is a wheelchair because of a recent leg amputation, and two local heroes who intervened and prevented the victim from suffering any harm. They explained that two insects, I mean men, approached the victim, tried to push her out of the wheelchair and take her money that she had hidden in her unmentionables. After being thwarted by the two witnesses, the suspects fled on foot to Centre Street where they were picked up by Boston’s finest, brought back to the scene and positively identified. Arrested for the felony was a 39-year-old Dorchester varmint and a 41-year-old Everett loser.

May 28, 10:55 p.m.

Sgt. Detective Jimmy Cullity was parked on Dorchester Avenue and Greenwich Street in Fields Corner keeping an eye on the influx of working girls, when a 21-year-old near-sighted local lass approached the sergeant’s passenger side window. She asked, “Can I get in?” The sergeant said “and …?” The lady said, “I could use some money.” The sarge said, “and …?” The lady “I’ll give you [this and that sex acts]. The sarge said, “and …?” The lady said, “I am a real fun girl and I have my own place.” The sarge said, “and …” The lady said “$80.” The sarge said, “You’re under arrest.” Fifteen prostitutes, johns and pimps had been arrested on Dorchester Avenue in the previous ten days due to the work of the C-11 detectives.

Open House Saturday

This coming Saturday, Aug. 7, we at C-11 will be holding our annual Open House from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. We will be having face painting, balloon-blowing clown, pony rides (while they last), hot dogs, and hamburgers and it’s all FREE!! So if you’re looking for a little something to do this Saturday, come by and visit us, it won’t cost you one thin dime.

Lastly, a happy birthday to my youngest son Michael on his 21st birthday. Also a prayer for a speedy recovery to my most avid reader, my uncle Eddie, who is battling cancer for the third time. Thanks all.