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The deal at our home: ‘Throw nothing’ (except maybe me)

It’s 4:30 in the morning and I can’t get back to sleep. So I might as well write something. But I’m currently out of topics. I’ll come back to this later.

Hi, me again. It’s now 5:45 a.m. and while I was stepping out of the shower, a strange thought occurred to me. In the 37 years I’ve known my wife I’ve never seen her wear a hat! Seriously. Oh she’ll pull up the hood of her coat during inclement weather but never a hat. Now that I think of it, in 29 years of marriage I don’t think she’s ever thrown away a pair of shoes, a purse, or a bridesmaid’s dress.

Dame Edna would have a field day in some of our closets. My wife is by no means a hoarder; she just has a hard time parting with some things. Me? It’s “See ya later, Mike.” But a pair of pink 1986 Puma sneakers? No can’t get rid of them because you never know when they will be back in style. She still has our youngest son’s Mickey Mouse baby blanket (he called them kee-kee’s) in his old bedroom. Folks, the boy turned 23 in August and I don’t think he has used them in four years.
Last week we decided to clean out and move our kitchen cabinets. In the back top shelf of one of them we found an old-fashioned hand-turned pencil sharpener from her grade school days and right beside it were the two champagne glasses that we used to toast ourselves at our wedding. Sentimentality, just another reason why I love her.

Sept. 10, 5:30 p.m.

A Peabody Square woman came home to find that a piece of human vermin had broken into her home through a front window and taken a box of costume jewelry. The suspect(s) also took three urns, each of which contained the ashes of her beloved deceased cats. I sure hope the suspect doesn’t think he’s hit the mother lode in cocaine.

Aug. 20, 11:30 a.m.
Timing is everything. Officer John Doherty was driving his personal vehicle home from court when he turned down Pope’s Hill Street and observed a 50-year-old Dorchester man pushing a shopping cart up the hill. It was loaded with bags of shrimp and packages of fish and chicken, but none of them were wrapped or covered in paper bags. It sure seemed as if they were placed in the cart and then wheeled out the front door of the Freeport Street Stop & Shop. When the manager arrived, he exclaimed: “You again! We threw you out last week.” The thief was arrested for stealing $310 worth of groceries and giving a false name and Social Security number to a police officer.

Aug. 24, 2:45 a.m., 3:15 a.m.

Excuses, excuses. Plainclothes officers observed a 47-year-old Dorchester woman standing at Dot Ave. and Savin Hill Ave. waving at passing vehicles trying to sell something that many of us get for free. Sometimes. Finally a Honda Accord pulled alongside the woman. The driver was a 22-year-old Dorchester man who was young enough to be the woman’s son. After a brief conversation, she hopped in the car and they headed off towards Fields Corner, parking on Leonard Street. When the officers approached the car the man and woman were in the middle of, well use your imagination. Both were arrested. During booking the woman complained, “Unemployment sucks, they cut off checks without telling you.” A half hour later, a 37-year-old Quincy woman with poor eyesight was arrested for trying to negotiate a “sex for a fee” from one of our detectives on Kimble Street. When officers put handcuffs on her, she yelled, “They reduced my food stamps. What was I supposed to do!” So prostituting yourself was the best solution to your problem?

Aug. 27, 2:15 a.m.

Officers responded to a Norton Street home for a report of loud music. Simple call, simple response. You show up, tell the homeowner turn down the music, they do, life goes on. But this is Dorchester, not so simple. The officers arrived, told the 31-year-old nitwit to shut off the blaring music, and he responed by slamming the front door on an officer’s foot, crushing it. The jerk was charged with ABDW and A&B on a police officer.