Ann McGough
Special to the Reporter

Being a mother is great. I never imagined that I would love my children as much as I do. Words can't describe how I feel about them.

But being a mother in this day and age is not easy. We have an information overload. We have society pulling us in different directions about the "right" way to parent. Is giving our "all" enough?

Since my oldest daughter was a baby, I have second-guessed myself from time to time; okay, well almost every day. I just thought my paranoia was a result of my Irish-Catholic upbringing. You know; "When you look around, realize everything is fine and stop worrying, the bad stuff starts happening (in three's)".

On a recent episode of Desperate Housewives (I swear I only watched it once!), Lynette has a near breakdown in keeping up with the demands of her four young children. "I love my kids so much! I just feel bad for them that they have me for a mother! I can't get it right!"

After her meltdown, Susan and Bree share stories of bad days that they had when their own children were small. Lynette tearfully responds, "Why didn't you guys ever tell me this before?"

"Because you're not supposed to talk about this stuff," was the sad, but true reply.

Whether you have had a hectic day or every day is hectic, you just gotta have friends. Having someone to vent to, confide in and share with is key in getting through life's ups and downs with sense of humor and sanity intact. I also might add, that your confidante will be most effective if she is walking in your shoes or at has least has walked in them someone recently. For example, your friend who stays at home with four kids might not sympathize with what you go through to balance a full-time job and "only" one child. And on the flip side, while, some of the craziness that goes in a house with lots of kids might spin the head of your friend with one child, another friend, who also has a few in diapers, might have had a similar day and be able to provide some comic relief to lighten the situation. That is why there are support groups for just about everything under the sun. It is okay to turn to your friends for support. I am sure that any one of your friends would tell you that is what they are there for!

And what happens when there are no friends to turn to? Millions will tune in to watch you on Wednesday night at 9 when "Nanny 911" visits your house. See, you are not alone in second guessing your parenting skills. The whole nation is, at some level, questioning themselves, which is why the ratings for this new show are so great.

But I feel badly for these women, too. In a time when kids are being beaten and neglected, and ignored, is it really the worst thing in the world that one mom still fell asleep in her four-year-olds room every night, or that another spent too much time playing with her children to realize that she needed a Zamboni to clear the clutter from her house?

Who knows? I have read a lot of parenting references lately, and the information that seemed most solid and sensible was found in this month's Family Circle. They listed the Secrets of Happy Families; Expect disorganization at the end of everyday; Eat meals together as a family; Have a bedtime ritual you can share with your children (sing, read, dance); Have a weekly date with each child alone; Have a weekly date with your spouse alone; Have a weekly date with yourself alone; Share babysitting with other parents, Turn to your extended family whenever possible; Keep a journal of your stresses and successes. (Today's disaster might make a funny memory in the future). And last, but not least, make a circle of friends who have kids your children's ages, share ideas, stresses, solutions.

Time moves quickly, but it just might be a long cold winter. Invite your friends and their kids over. Don't worry if the house isn't clean and the laundry isn't all put away. All you really need is a box of Ellios, a couple of juice boxes, and a pot of coffee. It will be good for you to have a few laughs and good for the kids to see some different faces. Because, let's face it, none of us is perfect, but we are all doing the best that we can.