By Catherine O'Neill
Special to the Reporter

I really don't care about Roger Clemens. I couldn't care less about allegations that he and his wife used steroids. That story shows up way down on the negative side of my care-o-meter, believe it or not. My question is, "Why does the United States Congress care about Roger Clemens?"

But my care-o-meter was on high last Friday when I opened the mail from my oil delivery company to see a bill for more than $700. I promptly went to Lord and Taylor and returned two recent additions to my spring wardrobe (I never wore them because we haven't even had a hint of spring). On the way to Braintree I had to get gas, so here I was down approximately $800 &endash; and I hadn't even left the neighborhood.

Wow! The economic indicators and all those other fancy words the smaaart people use in Washington really started to mean something to me that day.

It takes what it takes. And for me, it took two spring outfits.

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Wasn't President Bush just a cut-up when he had the Red Sox in the Rose Garden to salute their World Series win? I mean he really was funny. Like funnier than some folks are going to be Sunday at Senator Hart's breakfast. (All good Irish wishes go to the senator for another successful St. Patrick's Day get-together.)

Why shouldn't President Bush be light-hearted and jolly? What does he have to worry about? He's at the point in his White House job where he's taking his sick days; he's banging in. He's using them or he'll lose them (Hey, I used to be a payroll patriot; I know the drill). But he's been calling in for way too long.

Of course he's light-hearted. He didn't have any financial hoodlums sell him a sub-prime mortgage they knew he wasn't going to be able to pay back. He's moving; but not soon enough.

Of course he's jolly; he isn't waiting for a child to return to American soil from a foreign soil wet with the blood of OPC (other people's children).

So it was really nice to see the president in such a good mood with our Boston Red Sox's wasn't it? Was the INS notified of the visit? Is Manny a naturalized citizen? Is that why he didn't show up? Is Big Pappy? What about Dice K? What is their immigration status? Are they on work visas? Only John Henry knows for sure and he doesn't look like the kind of guy who does lots of talking.

But I'll bet there's a loophole for non-citizen professional athletics who make so much money they never have to worry about making a choice between having an automobile on the road or having a roof over their head. No life in the shadows for those immigrants. The shadows are for the kind of immigrants who need work to eat and our emergency rooms to live, the kind of immigrants who dream of a better life for their families in the greatest country on the planet, the kind of immigrants my parents were.

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Getting back to Roger Clemens, I do care about a couple of things when it comes to him. I would care if the United States Congress hosted him and his ex-buddies again. As a nation we have lots more going on to worry about, don't you think? I care deeply that if he ever makes that walk to the Baseball Hall of Fame, he will wear a New York Yankee cap on the stroll to the stage at Cooperstown. He has an ego the size of New York City, so that is the only cap that will fit his head.