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By Katherine McInerney
Special to the Reporter
Clouds were in the sky, but love was in the air
last Friday, when Carmen Caban, 51, of Dorchester
said, "I do" and married her longtime boyfriend,
Luis Gonzalez. The wedding took place at
Upham's Corner Health Center on Dorchester Avenue,
where the newlyweds' lives have converged for two
very different reasons.
Carmen has worked at Upham's Corner a total of
eight years, first as a van driver and now as a
Certified Nursing Assistant. Since 2004, Luis, 64,
has been a participant at Upham's Elder Service
Plan, a day center serving close to 150 elderly
residents in the Dorchester area.
Carmen's decision to get married at Upham's Corner is a
testament to the connection that she and Luis have
to the community there. From the food to the
decorations and music, everyone pitched in to make
the wedding happen. Diane Staib, a social worker
that has worked alongside Carmen for five years
said when she got a call from Carmen a month ago
asking if it would be alright if she and Luis were
married at the center, she "almost dropped the
phone. It was such a sweet thing to ask and shows
how close she is to us. We're a second family."
After more than 34 years with Luis, Carmen says that her life
won't change much after the wedding. The couple
recently moved into their own apartment on Adams
Street in Dorchester; they were living with their
children previously.
In response to the question, "Why now?" Carmen said with a
shrug, "It's just time."
With three children and a lifetime of memories together, the
ceremony is a representation of the commitments
they have already made to each other over the
years.
Carmen first met Luis in 1963. He was a radio announcer on a
Spanish radio station and a young Carmen fell in
love with the sound of his voice as soon as she
heard it. She used to call Luis at the station with
announcements for birthdays or anniversaries until
she decided to find out who the man was behind the
voice. Carmen went to his house with her brother
and his girlfriend and asked a man standing outside
where she could find Luis Gonzalez.
"The man said, 'That's me,'"Carmen remembers and her heart
sunk. "At first I didn't like him at all. But he
kept calling and he was nice to me. Saying nice
words. I guess he was the man for me," Carmen
said.
Luis has suffered several strokes over the years and is now
confined to a wheelchair. He requires constant
care, which Carmen provides at home and at the day
center. Though she has always loved him, Carmen
says that, "ever since he had his strokes I'm more
attached to him. I take good care of him and he
appreciates that."
Luis had always called Carmen his wife, though he has become
more affectionate in his old age, Carmen says.
"He'll throw me kisses all the time now, things he
didn't do before. I know he appreciates what I do
for him."
As the wedding march began in the dining hall at Upham's
Corner, Luis waited for his bride at the end of the
aisle, his chair adorned in tulle and pink roses,
the aisle lined with white Christmas lights. Smiles
spread throughout the group and dry eyes were
scarce. The round tables were packed with family
members, Upham's participants, volunteers and
staff, all eager to catch a glimpse of the
bride-to-be. Carmen said she was happy that she and
Luis could share her wedding with the people that
are such an important part of their daily lives.
Described by her co-workers as "the ultimate caregiver", Carmen
wouldn't take time off after the wedding, though
she and Luis were looking forward to spending the
long weekend together at their new home. She said
she and Luis would probably watch the 7 o'clock
news together that night and share coffee and toast
as usual.
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