Hi, everybody, it’s been a while since we last corresponded. Let’s see, Halloween went well. Several residents and civic groups donated candy. We had close to 200 kids come by the front foyer of C-11, always well behaved and courteous. Speaking of C-11, the trailers are gone and we are now open again and better than ever. Also I would like to congratulate Savin Hill’s Joe Chaisson on his recent roast/tribute at the Venezia Restaurant. A wonderful man who cares for Dorchester as much as anyone I know. I think I’m caught up now so here a few stories about some stupid people doing some incredibly stupid things.

Sept. 15, 2:15 a.m.; Sept. 21, 1:18 a.m.
So you’ve got a child who wants to become a police officer some day? Well let them read this and he or she just might think again. On Sept. 15 about 2:15 a.m. officers in the K-Car (plain clothes) went to the rear of a Fields Corner mechanic shop to investigate a suspicious person. On arrival they found a 20-year-old Dorchester lad standing alone with his pants around his ankles wearing just his underwear. By his side was a tub of Vaseline and he was rubbing his rear end against a motor vehicle. Mel Brooks couldn’t come up with something like this. The suspect’s information was taken and he was escorted from the property. He wasn’t arrested as there is no law on the books forbidding someone from sexually assaulting a car. Shortly thereafter, the officers received information that the suspect, who was selling heroin in the Fields Corner area, hides his product in an area of his body that God designated as an exit not an entrance. The officers also learned that the suspect had a couple of drug warrants out of Quincy District Court. So on Sept. 21 they went in search of our freaky felon (no way they were going to let him slip through their fingers again; sorry, couldn’t help myself). They found him on Adams Street by Ronan Park and arrested him. They didn’t find any drugs (they checked, eeewww), but he did have $500 and a full tub of Vaseline on him. True, all true.

Nov. 4, 5:35 p.m.
Officers responded to a call outside a Fields Corner restaurant for a larceny from the person. On arrival they spoke to the victim, who stated that a very short male had grabbed his cell phone from his hand and ran into the MBTA station. The officers found the suspect inside the station, dialed the victim’s phone number, and the barrel beside the suspect began to ring. The victim positively identified the suspect and he was arrested. The 24-year-old suspect complained to officers that the victim had asked him for money so he could ride the train home, so he gave him five dollars. But instead of taking the train, the victim went into a Chinese restaurant and ordered a dinner instead. This infuriated the suspect and the two began arguing, which ended when the suspect took the victim’s phone and ran. He doesn’t know why.

Oct. 19, 12:45 p.m.
Several officers responded to a High Street address for a report of a man breaking into the place. The first officers on scene found that a side door had been pried off. Then they observed a 50-year-old Dorchester man with a long history of housebreaks standing in the kitchen. He was arrested at gunpoint. Not a very funny story, but here’s something else you should know: Three days later he was arrested for breaking into a Freeman Street home. Ya just gotta love the court system here in the Commonwealth. You can be pissed off at the police when you become a victim of crime, but you can see what we are up against when we catch a burglar and the court sees fit to release them back on the street to prey some more. Frustrating, very frustrating; for all I know this guy could be back out.

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The C-11 Christmas Party will be Dec. 14 at 4:30 p.m. at the Elevators Union Hall on Park Street. As always, it is for kids age 3 to 11 and is by invitation only. No copies. We only have a limited number of invites, gifts, and money, and, as you know, we are a non-profit. If you would like to donate a new, unwrapped gift, please give us a call at the CSO office at 617-343-4524 and God bless.