By Chaplain Clementina M. Chéry
When a homicide occurs, systems go into motion. Police respond. EMTs try to save a life. Investigators begin gathering information. The medical examiner becomes involved. Prosecutors and victim advocates are notified.
Then someone has to tell a family that their loved one has died. But what happens after that? Who tells the family what comes next, what decisions have to be made within hours?
Who explains what happens to their loved one’s body, how to select a funeral home, what financial assistance may be available, what they will encounter within the criminal legal system?
Who calls them tomorrow?
These questions are at the heart of survivor-centered homicide response.
Through three-plus decades accompanying families impacted by murder, I’ve learned we must expand our understanding of homicide response. A compassionate death notification is essential, but cannot be the end of the response.
On Dec. 20, 1993, my oldest son, Louis D. Brown, was caught in crossfire of a shootout 15 minutes from our home. He was on his way to a holiday party organized by Teens Against Gang Violence.
When I arrived at the hospital, I was a mother desperately hoping for a miracle. Instead, I received the devastating news that my son was brain-dead and was asked if I wanted to donate his organs.
I wanted to pray, but I was told the chapel was closed. I asked for a chaplain and was told that, because of budget cuts, no chaplain was available.
A short time later, I walked out of the hospital completely empty. Without my son. With no idea what to do next. With pain so overwhelming that I could not see beyond the moment.
I asked myself questions no parent should ever have to ask:
Where do I begin? Who do I call? How do I tell my family? How do I plan a funeral?
How do I survive this?
There was no roadmap, no guide, no single place where I could find the information, support, and compassion my family needed. We were not prepared. No family ever is. Grief does not prepare you for paperwork. Nor does trauma provide a checklist. But families should not have to face it alone.
A year later we founded our organization, in my son’s name, to teach young people the value of peace and to support families whose loved ones were murdered. As the City of Boston began referring families of homicide victims to the Louis D. Brown Peace Institute, we heard many of the same questions.
What now? Where is my loved one? How do we choose a funeral home? How will we pay for the burial? What happens at the medical examiner? What do we tell the children? What if my loved one had a criminal record?
Those experiences led to The Survivors’ Burial and Resource Guide. Developed by survivors for survivors, it is a practice-informed resource developed from experience and decades of direct work with families impacted by homicide. I created what I wish I had before leaving the hospital that cold December night.
At its core is a simple belief: Every family impacted by homicide deserves dignity, compassion, information, and support. It does not replace a victim advocate, social worker, family-resource officer, funeral director, clinician, faith leader, or community organization. It certainly does not replace human compassion.
Instead, it gives those relationships something practical to work from.
When someone has just learned a loved one has been murdered, we cannot assume everything said during the first conversation will be remembered. A written resource gives families something to consult when they are ready, share with relatives, prompt questions, and return to when the initial shock begins to lift. The purpose is not to tell survivors what to do. Rather, it seeks to help families understand what they may encounter so they can make informed decisions.
A comprehensive homicide response protocol should answer the questions: What do we leave with the family, and who will help them navigate what comes next?
The Survivors’ Burial and Resource Guide can provide a shared foundation for that next stage of response. In addition to being informed by the voices of families impacted by homicide, it also recognizes that grieving, funerals, and healing do not look the same in every culture and faith. It offers practical, consistent information that complements the expertise
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