I was going through some old columns I had penned a couple of years ago when I ran across the one that started out with me theorizing that Whitey Bulger and Osama Bin Laden were in fact the same person, Whitey Bin Laden. I had suggested that our military check every Irish bar in Afghanistan for our nation’s #1 and #1A most wanted criminals. I’d stop and question any Arab wearing a scally cap. But my hunch was ignored by the powers that be as both fugitives remain as free as air. Oh well, maybe someday my theory will be proven. Until then, we will still hunt for Whitey Bin Laden. Or is it Osama Bin Bulger?
February 1, 8:48 a.m.
You should never pick up hitchhikers. Especially ones that are prostitutes. Officers responded to the parking lot of 1444 Dorchester Ave. for a possible robbery in progress. On arrival they observed a man chasing a woman around the lot demanding she return his wallet. The man explained that he was only giving the woman a ride (lie), that he didn’t even know her name (truth), and didn’t know how she could have gotten his wallet out of his pants (lie). She stated that she agreed to perform a service (truth), the two argued about the fee (truth) but she didn’t steal his wallet (lie). Finally she stated that she took the wallet but threw it under the man’s car (truth) and she didn’t have his money (lie). Officers later found $172 in her pockets which she stated was the victim’s (truth). Suspect arrested and the victim was summoned to Dorchester Court, both of them idiots (truth).
March 22, midnight to 2 a.m.
In response to an increase in prostitution complaints along Dorchester Avenue, Area C-11 detectives sent an undercover ‘John’ out and within a span of an hour and forty-five minutes he was propositioned by four females and one male to engage in sex for a fee. The females ranged in age from 21 to 50 and gave addresses from Dorchester to Framingham. Our male suspect was a local lad. If you need a visual, just picture Emmitt Smith in drag. All five were charged with sex for a fee.
March 28, 8:22 p.m.
Officers Medina and Doran were parked at Dorchester Avenue and Bailey Street when they saw a Toyota ahead of them idling in the street. After a check of the license plate it was learned that the vehicle’s female owner had two default warrants out of Cambridge District Court for receiving stolen property and shoplifting. The officers spoke with the driver (suspect) who stated that she had cleared up the warrants (but had no proof) and besides she didn’t do that type of thing any longer. But then the officers noticed the nine Coach pocketbooks on the car’s back seat along with three Burberry makeup bags, 1 Louis Vitton purse and one Fendi bag. The suspect (a 36-year-old from West Roxbury) had no receipts or explanation for the property. She was arrested on the warrants and for receiving stolen property.
March 28, 2:51 p.m.
Officers responded to a Lonsdale Street residence for a report of neighbor trouble. On arrival officers spoke to the second floor resident who stated that when she complained to the first floor tenant about her loud music (which was still blaring) the tenant began screaming and pounding on the victim’s door. The officers went down to the first floor and spoke to the belligerent tenant and eventually had to write her a city ordinance violation for loud amplification device in a dwelling. Then they left only to be called back three minutes later for the same complaint. But this time when the officers entered the home they observed the first floor tenant screaming obscenities and throwing shoes like a Bagdad television reporter at the victim’s front door. She was soon in handcuffs charged with disorderly person and resisting arrest.
February 18, 11:30 a.m.
A 30-year-old Dorchester woman operating her Dodge Caravan blew through the red light at Savin Hill Avenue and Pleasant Street in front of two officers. A check on her license showed that it was in fact under suspension and she was arrested. She was placed in the officer’s cruiser but she then began booting the doors of the police car. She was then taken out of the cruiser and placed into a police wagon. At the booking desk the suspect was rude, crude and quite uncooperative. The officers suspect she wasn’t very happy with them.
March 19, 6:15 p.m.
When detectives from the C-11 Drug Control Unit stopped a 26-year-old Dorchester man while he sold 20 Percocet pills to a 28-year-old fool from Medford, the Medford druggie said “I only bought them for my mother.†Imagine that! I know there’s no honor among thieves, but rolling over on your own mother, now that’s just low. Total loser.
